Change is hard and uncertainty can be scary.
When faced with uncertainty we may wish to find a quick definitive answer to our question.
We may just want someone to tell us what to do so we may conduct an extensive search on the Internet looking for a definitive answer to a perplexing situation.
But we did not find the answer, because there is not a single answer to a difficult situation.
It is just not that simple.
Ask yourself .. “Am I looking for an answer or an easy solution?”
You can feel as though you are being thrown off balance when faced with uncertainty.
Doing nothing can feel safe, even if it changes nothing, because at least you know what to expect.
Conducting a deep search on the Internet can feel productive even when it is not.
You may spend hours on the Internet searching for an answer, and find yourself being unable to move forward.
You may find that you have more questions based on the information that you have attained, and may even feel more uncertain than when you started your search.
Even if you feel uncertain, it is important to take steps that feel manageable, because there is a greater chance that you will stick with a course of action if you are moving towards the change you want to create in your life.
Remember, small gains can increase confidence and keep you motivated if you experience setbacks.
Being adaptable can mean starting over.
Starting over can feel devastating especially if we feel that we have done everything right.
Working towards a goal or accomplishment can leave us feeling depleted if things do not go according to plan.
At times like these it is important to take a moment to regroup by talking to a trusted friend or family member, and regroup.
Taking space can mean taking a day or an hour, cry if you need to, but then find a step that can be taken in order to work toward your goal.
It can even mean figuring out how you can endure a problem that is not readily solvable .
It is also important not to be terribly hard on yourself.
We take action based on the information that we have at the time, and the information we have at the time can be incorrect or not present us with the full picture.
It is important to not allow ourselves to remain in the past. It is normal to wish to rewrite history.
Part of being adaptable means that we find a way to move forward with the new information that we have.
Document the things that are within your control
Creating a visual representation of steps taken can assist in creating a greater sense of control.
Seeing actions taken on paper or in a notes section in your phone can assist you in noting that you are taking steps forward, even if you do not feel as though you are.
Make a list of all of the things that you did during the day, even if you feel that they are small.
Document those emails you sent or phone calls you made, or even conversations you had with others when determining your next course of action.
These are all examples that demonstrate you are making strides towards solving the problem.
Some of things that you are working on will take time to come into fruition.
The important thing is that you are taking steps forward and exercising patience.
There is only so much you can do to move forward at one time.
Change does not occur at the accelerated pace we see demonstrated in the movies.
Though it would be nice if it did.
Don’t compare yourself to others
When we think about it comparison is an ugly thing.
It is tempting to compare yourself to others, but don’t do it.
You will not feel better in the long run, and you may even feel worse if others are doing better than you.
Comparing yourself to others can make you feel as though you are not doing enough.
Comparison can discourage you.
And you do not know what someone else’s resources are, so they may have more resources than you.
We do not succeed alone, so if someone tells you that they are self made, and no one helped them to get to where they are, they are not being entirely truthful.
Resources does not just entail money, but people as well.
Who encourages them or validates them, critiques their work, or just provides them with honest feedback?
People do not live or succeed in a vacuum.
No one succeeds alone.
Knowing your limits
Sometimes it is helpful to take a step back.
We need time to rest and reflect on the strategies that we have incorporated and taking a step back and concentrating on a different task is a way to regroup.
We cannot keep doing the same thing and expect a different result.
We cannot continue to think about the same topic for a number of hours without taking a break.
When you have been working on a task for a number of hours it is important to check in with your body.
How is your breathing?
Are you noticing tightness or tension in your body, or some irritability?
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, it may be a indicator that you need to take a step back, rest or do something unrelated to the problem that you are trying to solve.
Taking an interest in others
Helping others provides you with the opportunity to experience the joy of giving which feels good for you, and also helps someone else.
Assisting others is a way to feel connected to others, and the assistance you provide to others can be small.
You could share a meal with someone or just take an interest in someone else’s day.
Message a friend you have not spoken to in awhile.
All of these things can feel good and can also be a great distraction from the problem that is causing stress.
Don’t get tied to things having to be a certain way
Life does not have to be a certain way. We can have numerous plans in place, and do everything according to plan, and then the unexpected happens.
Do not get tied to what has to be, because this can keep you from moving forward.
Remember it is all about balance. Failure is not the end, but a beginning.
We can learn more from our failures.
Don’t be afraid to fail.
We all fail at times.
Do not use fear as a reason not to move forward.
Just keep moving forward.